well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
