True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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