If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
