Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
