Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
