Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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