doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
