Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
