Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
