Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
