I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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