Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
