no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
NoShamevember. You game?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
