We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
