I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
