i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
her vagine was all disorganized.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
