So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
