u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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