oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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