Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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