i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
