there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
