Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
