New low: just hacked my moms facebook
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
