I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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