hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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