im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
