i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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