yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
