At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
