porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
i think my cat just said my name.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
