so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
