fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
