thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
