yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
