he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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