I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
