He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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