I wish I could teleport
so that wasnt chicken after all
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
