her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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