my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
