Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
People in love make me want to vomit
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
