i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
