so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
