So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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