Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
