there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
