I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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