I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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