I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
