wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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