That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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