bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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