Your tits are I can't wait for
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
