it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
